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If you sit down to play poker and the dealer greets everybody at the table by name, leave. These players are locals. They play every day. They make their living off chumps like you. So ask the floor supervisor for a table change. Or rack up your chips and head to a different poker room. You want a game in which you're playing against other tourists.
Drunk ones, ideally. Use the time change to your advantage: head to the poker room at 3am, when the clubs are clearing out. Try the Venetian. Its poker room is right below megaclub TAO. All those drunk, sexually frustrated guys pouring down the two-storey escalator? They're coming to play poker against you. You can beat 'em. You got this. Vegas casinos serve free booze to all gamblers.
So, if you're planning to get plastered, do it before you hit the clubs. You'll find the best complimentary casino drinks at the Wynn, as it offers gamblers free mojitos and brand name tequila. Just remember to tip your waitress a dollar a drink. Oh, while you're here, stop by the Koi Pond. A Koi is like a big, sensitive, fanged goldfish, and a koi pond is the aquatic equivalent of a rock garden.
It's the most relaxing room in the Strip, but nobody knows about it — not even the locals. The Cosmopolitan is the newest and swankiest hotel on the Strip. It's the one that looks like the Wynn, if the Wynn were bedazzled by Liberace. As long as you're gambling away your hard-earned cash, you might as well do it alongside the pretty and the powerful.
Oh, and if you're gambling at the Cosmo on a Friday, Saturday or Monday night, do it at a table below the elevator that leads up to Marquee, the hottest club on the strip; this is the best people-watching spot in Vegas.